It’s Not Me, It’s You: A Breakup Letter to Apple Maps

December 14, 2012 William 0 Comments

By Chris Taylor of

Dear Apple Maps,

We’ve had a good run, you and I. So many memories. Remember that time we didn’t get lost? Thank you for all those great turn-by-turn directions in your Siri voice. Good times.

I’ve got something difficult to tell you, but we’ll get through this. Inside, I think we both knew this day was coming. You see, I met another Maps app last night. No, not another one of those inferior replacements I kept trying before crawling back to you. This is the real deal.

Its name? You don’t have to ask me that. You know its name. You took its last name when you moved in so unceremoniously a couple months ago. I’m not going to say its first name; remember how upset you got last time I used the G-word?

Look, you’re a fine mapping application, and I’ve grown used to you. Really, I have. You’re still my favorite when it comes to turn-by-turn. Even the way you slip into 3D mode when I’m just trying to zoom in doesn’t annoy me that much any more.

We haven’t had that many problems getting home since I told you I didn’t live in a park. (And you know no one really blames you over those tourists in Australia; it turned out the problem was with the local maps themselves, and you should stop beating yourself up about that.)

And you still look fantastic. This isn’t about looks. The way your street names grow larger as you zoom out still makes me swoon sometimes. I mean, wow.

But I think it’s time we both grew up and realized what a big deal public transit is. Every time I’d ask if we could take the train or bus home, you’d just say “I don’t know, ask these other apps.” Your company should have raised you better than that, Apple Maps. I need to be with an app that cares about the planet and doesn’t just assume everyone drives all the time.

And when I am driving in an unfamiliar place, I need to be with an app I can be sure is telling me the truth about names and directions. When I hit a dead end that’s supposed to be a freeway, or call a town “Gonsett” when it’s actually “Consett,” it’s not just a matter of rerouting or reporting the problem. It’s the fact that you made me look like a fool. It’s about trust.

I don’t want to talk too much about the other app, but lets just say this: it worked through its problems. It looks much spiffier. It gives me multiple transit options on the same screen. And it has Street View, Apple Maps. Honest-to-goodness Street View, not just 3D buildings.

So you know I hate to do this to you, especially so close to the holidays. But I’m going to have to move you off the home screen.

It’s okay, really. You’ll still be there on the iPhone, just on a later screen. And you’ll still have pride of place on the iPad; this other app hasn’t moved there yet (which makes things a little awkward).

But you know I could never delete you, Apple Maps. I mean literally, I can never delete you. The iOS doesn’t allow it.

For now, I think it’s best if we only talk via Siri. I’ll ask her to take me to an address, she’ll call you up, and we’ll hang. We’ll do turn-by-turn. It’ll be fun. Hopefully, we won’t get lost.

And then maybe some day, when you’ve been upgraded, had all your place names checked and understand the need for public transit, maybe we’ll run into each other again, and who knows what may happen.

Let’s not say goodbye, Apple Maps. Let’s just say “you have arrived at your destination.”

Mashable composite.